12th June

If there is one company in this world I hate above all of the rest it’s E.on – it’s so just bloody annoying that they keep coming our as our cheapest option! I had to spend weeks dealing with them in November when they cocked up my gas bill and left me in arrears but after much going back and forth we agreed a figure which was a £50 a month increase which would cover the gas, electric and arrears.

Then last week I got an e-mail from them telling me that my annual review had been carried out and they were increasing my DD by a further £55 a month – so I rang them just now. They refused to do anything about it as they hadn’t had a meter reading since November! I explained how difficult it was to do meter readings as they were in the cupboard under the stairs and how their meter reader always turned up unannounced just as we were leaving for work. Still he wouldn’t budge so I gave him a demonstration of how difficult it was to read the meter!

I opened the cupboard and made sure he could hear me pulling all the crap out then I read the electric meter – just to prove how difficult it was my first attempt read the first figure as a 9 whereas it was really a 4 but the meter is so low down it’s difficult to read. Then I left him on hold while I went and found my mobile phone and proceeded to get into the cupboard with the E.on guy, still on the phone, and my mobile and used the mobile to read the gas meter by taking pictures of it!

He put my readings into his system and guess what! It would appear that the figure we worked out in November was actually correct and there is no need for a increase in my DD – thieving bastards! We’ve lived here for 7 years and all that time E.on have been our only supplier so you’d think they’d have enough historical data by now to be able to make a half decent attempt at estimating the bill wouldn’t you?

He actually had the cheek to suggest that I might want to check the website later as it could be possible that even going back to the old figure would end up with me paying too much!

Did I get an apology – did I b*llocks!

Hasn’t done my bad back any favours either!

While I’m in that E.on mood let’s phone the solicitors….

Oh hello I’m phoning because i rang on Monday about the email I sent last week which I didn’t get a reply to. I was told someone would ring me back but they haven’t.

Oh I’m sorry sir let me put you through….click…..ring…..

I’m afraid I’m not in the office this morning……

I do wonder how some people manage to stay in business I really do!

Working up in London this evening so catch the afternoon train up to Victoria. In order to save £4.70 and enjoy the sunshine I decide to walk to the Royal Garden Hotel – which is 2.5 miles away. It took slightly longer than I thought it would but luckily I’d left enough time and arrived on time. It was red hot and I was perspiring like a pig by the time I got there!

Job turned out to be a lot easier than I expected and involved filming 6 short pieces to camera and then editing them into a video to show after dinner – I started at 4 and was finished by 8:30 and that included eating a very nice meal of duck and a dessert that had a lemon and basil sauce – yummy! I could have got away earlier but the guest speaker was Ken Livingstone and I hung around to hear him speak – he was quite funny in places and I enjoyed it!

10th June

I’ve got an early start and have to be in London by 7am so I’m on the 5:45 train! At the next stop some blokes in suits get on – two of them are already in conversation about some stuff one of them has been doing to his summerhouse. Apparently he bought some speakers over the weekend – they were £60 and they were really good as they were “this big!”. He then goes on to say that he had an old Technics HiFi which he dug out and put in the shed and then he….and this is the clever bit….wired the speakers that came with the HiFi into the left channel and the new speakers into the right channel and now he can fade between the speakers in the shed and the ones outside!

I didn’t have the heart to tell him he’d wasted £60!

The conference was good – about energy with lots of discussion about Climate change and the future of electricity generation in the UK. Before lunch we had the Secretary for State and after lunch the Shadow secretary which was interesting. John Selwyn Gummer, as was, now Baron Deben spoke as well but no one was force fed any beef burgers.

The big boss of E.on was there – it was all I could do to stop myself telling him what an awful company I though he was running (EDIT see Thursday for more details)

9th June

When I woke up this morning my back was still really hurting. I shuffled around making the lunches but every time I reached, bent or twisted I got a sharp pain in the middle of my back on the left hand side. Burping or hiccups had the same effect!

Sarah suggested that I should go to the doctors especially as getting in or out of the car was painful and reminded me that even going round a left hand corner had had me wincing. So I began the torturous process of getting an appointment. Eventually one was arranged for 10:10 and after examining me the doctor decided that it was most likely just muscle strain and prescribed some painkillers.

7th June

First job this morning was to dismantle the picnic bench thst we have on the decking. We’ve decided not to take it with us when we move so Sarah hsd sold it on Facebay for £40.


It was glorious sunshine when I set about taking the screws out. To my surprise they came out quite easily……except for two! I tried a variety of screwdrivers and eventually got one out. At this point it started to spit with rain and I’d only just managed to get the last one out (well actually I snapped it off) when the heavens opened!

By early evening my back is hurting!

The rest of the day was spent in Toys’r’us or at least that’s what it felt like! Sarah and I looked for ideas for Ben’s birthday presents while we left him parked playing with a Wii u!

6th June

When I got to work this morning I found that my tyre had gone flat. I wasn’t sure what state my spare was in so my first plan after work was to take the spare off and go over to Tesco and fill it but when I took it out it seemed ok so I set about changing the wheel on the car park.

After I’d done it I went and filled up with fuel and checked the tyre pressure. By this point I was nearly an hour late setting off snd then to add insult to injury the A2 was all snarled up so it was almost half seven by the time I got home.

5th June

I’m working up in London today at Lords and I don’t have to be there until 3pm so I’ve got most of the morning to myself.

First I pop into the solicitors office so I can show them how gorgeous I am……sorry I mean that I look vaguely like my passport photo.

I then spend some time looking for documents from when we bought the house 7 years ago. I find the file in my wardrobe and pull out relevant stuff and then decided I should look in the shed as well. I decided that a cup of tea is in order so I make one and take it out to the shed along with some biscuits that some students bought us. I unlock the shed and go in. I put my tea on the desk and pick up my mandolin for a quick strum. I’m about 5 notes into The Rolling of the Stone when an awful smell assaults my nostrils. “Why can I smell cat shit” I think to myself! Then I look at my shoe and it’s covered. There’s also a load on the doormat. SO I have to put everything down and wipe my shoe on the lawn. Then I go back to the house and take off the affected shoe before hopping into the kitchen and grabbing some kitchen roll and baby wipes. The shoe goes back on and I go back and clean it up before repeating the process too get rid of the now shit covered tissues.

Back in the shed I have to light a joss stick to mask the smell and after all that I only found one relevant document!

After lunch I head off to the train station to catch the 13:15 to Victoria. I get my book out but after having read less than two pages I can barely keep my eyes open and end up falling asleep for most of the journey. I also end up getting to Lords 30 minutes early.

Once on site things don’t go well. There a small piece of staging but they’ve forgotten to send the legs so I’ve only got 6 inches to perform on! I start to get the camera out of the box and almost immediately notice that the plate that connects the camera to the tripod is missing. I search the boxes three times but it definitely not there so I have to phone the office and get them to send it up. The video cable that was ran in didn’t work. The power cable that was there also didn’t work. So by the time I went to plug in the sound feed I was expecting that not to work either but thankfully it did. Eventually the missing bit arrived and I managed to get set up.

My requests for coffee had been falling on deaf ears and I was starting to get very annoyed as there wasn’t even access to any water. The thought of spending till midnight on site without a drink wasn’t good. There didn’t seem to be any mention of food either – not even a plate of curling sandwiches or that old crew favourite lasagne! I’d just about resigned myself to going without when we were suddenly given one of the starters which was very nice. The main course followed but that wasn’t, apart from the sauce, as nice as it looked!

The dessert wasn’t served until after the end of the second lot of speeches and none came our way so I had to make do with some rather nice chocolates that were abandoned on some of the tables. The table next to the control desk had by this time no one sitting on it so I thought I’d blag a drink. I could just have had water but I swear I heard that bottle of red wine calling my name!

I went off to find the client and give her the video tape. She took one look at it and said “I’m not sure what I’m meant to do with that” so I asked he if she’d like me to digitise it and of course she said yes. So I put it back in my bag, grabbed a couple more choccies and headed off to find my cab getting away a whole hour early – result!

4th June

Solicitors are the bane of my life!

I rang the one dealing with the property sale and purchase yesterday as I wasn’t very happy because when he’d sent out the paperwork he’d sent a letter the following day saying that he’d heard from our estate agent that we wished for him to act on our behalf and would we care to get in touch. He’d also included in the letter about mortgages despite the fact that I’d already told them we wouldn’t be needing one! There were a couple more inconsistencies as well! I’d asked him at the time if it was ok to just push the identity stuff through the letterbox on the way to work and he said that was fine they’d send the passports back to us by recorded delivery.

In the end Sarah said she’d prefer to take them in so she did after work. So that’s what she did tonight on the way back from work. Once again he asked “did we have our mortgage offer yet?” and then told Sarah that I’d have to come in so he could see that I matched my passport photo. FFS – he’s not exactly filling me with confidence!

And as for the probate solicitor – I e-mailed her 3 days ago and haven’t had a reply – if I treat my clients like this I’d be out of work!

3rd June


Today is the last day of the Spencer Tunick exhibition in Folkestone. I would have liked to have gone and seen it again but it was not to be so I’ll just have to keep my happy memories of being a part of this unique project. I changed my Facebook header and the header of this blog to images of the event.

One of the participants drew the above cartoon to celebrate the end of the exhibition.  I commented that the person saying about the tattoos looked as if they were looking at my scope. They replied that after they’d drawn it they realised that the person saying about size matters apoeared to be looking at her landlord’s scope….oops!